Friday, July 1, 2011

Diehard NHL Fan Hits Free Agency

On today of all days, I come to a crossroads. Enough years of abuse (which is pretty much what it comes down to at this point) have taken a toll. So, as a (hopefully humorous) coping mechanism, I’ve put myself up for free agency. I’ll listen to the offers from prospective teams who want my services as a die hard, intelligent hockey fan.

A little background: After moving to Pittsburgh, I started my hockey days as a fan of the Penguins in 2001, towards the end of the Lemieux era. When we moved to Columbus, I sort of followed the Pens and Blue Jackets for a few years, but it wasn't until the lockout in 2004 that I really became a true hockey fan. In the 05-06 season I jumped onto the hometown Columbus Blue Jackets train, taking in everything I could. In the five seasons since then, I've been as devoted and intelligent a fan as you're likely to find. I stuck with this team through the muck thus far (and trust me, there was a lot. Thanks Doug MacLean!) The menagerie of questionable draft choices, signings, trades, personnel moves, and empty promises over the years culminated with the trade of my favorite athlete in any sport last week. I'm not ruling out a return to the Jackets. The look to "free agency" is to give me an opportunity to test the market. I love hockey and want to a fanbase that's passionate and a franchise that I can put my faith in.

That's where you, the readers, come in. What I need from you is submissions! Please send an email to explaining why I should join your (or another) team’s fanbase. I’ll put together a blog post after a week or so going through the teams I get offers from. Take it seriously, humorously (Desperately, blindly-homer Toronto fan? Please apply. I need something to laugh at), or anything in between. Make it good! Write it as yourself if you like, or a player, coach, front office person, anything! I want creativity! Every team I get is one fewer I have to do.

So please, email me your submissions ASAP! I’ll probably post one of the conferences this upcoming week, and the other the week after (most likely East than West). 

-Ryan Pratt

NOTE: This is a joke. I will not be selecting a new NHL team based on your submissions, but it is an amusing blog post idea, ain't it?